To all the hairs I’ve lost before

The bolts on the upper school chairs have been pulling out our hair for too long. Finally, a solution.


Evanthia Stirou

An illustration of said chairs. As you can see, strands of hair get irksomely stuck in the bolts.

Evanthia Stirou, Creative Director

You’re in Pre-Calculus. You sit down and recline against your chair, listening to Mrs. Springstead as she gives her lecture on logarithmic functions.

Then, you lean forward to jot down something important when all of the sudden you feel a sharp pain in your scalp. You turn to locate the culprit, only to see that a clump of your hair has been ripped off by those tiny, God-forsaken silver bolts on the back of your chair.

The problem with the upper school’s grey plastic chairs (you know, the ones you sit in every day) and their small, button-like bolts is their tendency to snag long hair. The bolts are unfortunately located at about mid-shoulder height, making it all too easy for your hair to get caught in them.

These seats can be found in almost every classroom, and although they look unsuspecting and innocent at first, many long-haired individuals can attest to how annoying they are.

Have you ever had your hair pulled out by these chairs?

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Every day, another innocent student is affected. It has become all too normal for someone to hear a student complain about their hair being wrenched from their heads in class. It’s already enough that students must go through the trials and tribulations of high school, but now, the chairs have added a layer of physical pain to the equation. As the flow is wrenched from the roots of an unsuspecting teenager, I often wonder: if we were to collect all of these stray locks, could we make a wig? Could we donate to those who are losing their hair? I guarantee it’s possible.

How can we stop the hair-pulling from happening? It is high time to save our scalps from such agony. Replacing all of the chairs is too much of a hassle, and letting this situation continue would be equally atrocious, if not more.

The answer may have already been discovered, as many brave SSES students are taking action in the form of makeshift tape-barriers. In some classrooms, Falcons have taken to using strips of tape are used to cover up the bolts to prevent this torture from taking place. This method is indeed effective, and the more people who participate in this movement, the better our chances of avoiding this inconvenient evil.

Yes, this issue is not a large one, and many of you may laugh at how seriously I am taking the situation, but you can only understand how tormenting it is to have your precious locks of hair being stolen from you once you’ve experienced it first-hand.