The 10 worst college campuses (as determined by an overly-vain Falcon)
On College Weekend, junior Zoey Block, along with many of her peers, visited colleges around the country. Here she is at Florida State University, one of America’s finest institutions.
Hey all. I’m Astrid and I’m a junior in the thick of my college search.
The most important aspect of a good college to me isn’t the academics or proximity to home… No, it is something much more important: I need the next four years to be in a place as beautiful as me.
I’m pretty hot if you can’t tell.
But alas, not every institute of higher learning can be as gorgeous as moi. And, let’s be real: What’s on the outside DOES matter.
So let me enlighten you on the “ugliest” campuses in the U S of A (of course some may disagree; tomato, tom-ah-to, as they say), and help lead you on the path of absolute, utter disdain for anything subpar to me.
(Quick Disclaimer! This is all sarcastic! These universities are all amazingly beautiful).
10. Princeton University
Don’t even get me started on this ugly Gothic style. You’re in America sweetie, not plague-ridden 1267 Germany. Not even your somewhat historical Nassau Hall can redeem your garbage campus.
9. Berry College
Please keep your 2,500 deer and numerous mountain/forest trails to yourself, Berry. Yeesh.
8. Rice University
Rice was ugly even before it was flooded by a hurricane. Plus, who wants to be in an city like Houston? Especially the Arts District. Ugh, no culture.
7. University of Mississippi
If I’m going to have to live in the middle of a state that still thinks its part of the Confederacy, I’ll at least want a semi-decent campus. Yeah, Ole Miss? Doesn’t fit the bill.
6. University of Hawaii at Manoa
It’s the middle of the ocean. On a dormant volcano. I’m not trying to die during college, especially surrounded by those awful palm trees.
5. Wake Forest University
Way to rip off every other college campus, Wake. You look like a poorly-edited green screen. Heck to the no.
4. University of California, Berkeley
The Bay Area is already ugly enough with its pristine waters, hulking mountains, and towering redwoods. The architecture at Cal really does not improve it.
3. Boston College
I really hope Jesuits don’t build anymore universities. They really, really, REALLY don’t know how to. See evidence below, and try not to gag.
2. College 0f Charleston
Imagine spending your university years under Spanish moss and sunny days. Nightmarish, no? Well that’s the situation at CoC, so count me out. Besides, that building is pink. That”s just stupid and not clever.
1. Yale University
You’d think one of the most esteemed schools in the world would have a nice campus. Psych! Yale’s hovel of a university is filled with disgusting Gothic spires and foliage-covered courtyards. It’s location in the city of New Haven isn’t ideal either. The dangers of the city trap Yalies in their disgrace of a campus. Yale really puts the BOO in boola.
And there you have it! The ugliest colleges in the United States. Stay woke folks, and avoid these schools like the plague.
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Jeannine Elisha • Mar 1, 2018 at 8:06 am
I think you now need to select the 10 most beautiful colleges.