Turkey or Tinsel?

Ding! Ding! Ding! Two competitors (Thanksgiving and Christmas) enter the ring, only one will leave.

November 19, 2021

Thanksgiving is tastier

Although Christmas is everyone’s favorite holiday, this year an underdog rises to take its place as the champion among the winter holidays. Chestnuts won’t be the only thing roasting over an open fire this holiday season as Thanksgiving prepares to deck Christmas’s halls in this showdown of epic proportions.

Let’s be honest, everyone knows that Thanksgiving is the best day for food Sure we always say that it’s about being “thankful,” but we all know deep down it’s really about the pie. What does Christmas have for food? Gingerbread men? Hah, I’ll take a warm pumpkin pie over any stale cracker pretending to be a cookie. And sugar and spice are the only things nice about Christmas flavors. If I wanted to eat toothpaste, I’d go to the source rather than resort to eating a candy cane.

Now the food is not the only reason why Thanksgiving takes the cake in our metaphorical bake off. Thanksgiving is the true American holiday. You might be thinking “well what about the Fourth of July, you know the day commemorating America’s literal independence and the creation of our country.” To which I’d respond the only thing more American than liberty and freedom is a day celebrating our liberty and freedom to eat enormous quantities of food and argue with all of our family members. And don’t worry, if you like the Fourth of July so much, I’m giving you special permission to shoot off fireworks Thanksgiving night. It’ll give your neighbors that adrenaline rush they’ll need after eating all that food.

Thanksgiving has constant entertainment. There’s the Macy’s Day Parade, numerous football games, both professional and college, and once Thanksgiving is over, there’s everyone’s actual favorite holidays: Black Friday (the only holiday where looting Walmart is the primary goal) and Cyber Monday (to help Jeff Bezos get a nice Christmas bonus).

Lastly, Thanksgiving is less commercialized than Christmas. You don’t hear the constant blare of Jingle Bells over every single store’s loudspeakers because of Thanksgiving, and you don’t have thousands of advertisement shoved down your throat because of Thanksgiving, and you don’t have to constantly worry about what you’re gonna get every single person you’ve ever met for Christmas. No, that’s a singularly Christmas-shaped problem. With Thanksgiving, there’s really only two days of stress: the day before when a lot of food is prepped, and the day when the magic happens.

Christmas you just got roasted like a turkey.

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Christmas is cheerier

Prepare your Yule logs because Christmas is going to roast Thanksgiving like a turkey this holiday season. As we all know, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, but apparently some people aren’t so convinced, so let’s go over why Christmas is the superior holiday. Christmas isn’t just a holiday, it’s a mindset. During Christmas everyone is happy, people want to spend more quality time with family and friends, and everyone wants to partake in their favorite winter activities.

Christmas also has superior food. No one wants to eat that dry, unseasoned turkey on Thanksgiving. Instead, on Christmas you can feast on gingerbread-man cookies or drink hot chocolate to your heart’s content. Forget to brush your teeth in the morning? That’s fine, there’s nothing a candy cane can’t fix. Wanna get into a cozy mood at night? Try some eggnog (non-alcoholic of course). Don’t drink too much though; you saw what happened to grandma right?

Christmas fosters community. You can’t tell me that hordes of people would willingly go around to strangers’ houses and sing for them during just any season. No one has ever said “Yay it’s Thanksgiving, let’s go sing and dance.” Christmas, however, is a time to rock around the Christmas tree and see everyone dancing merrily in the new old fashioned way.

Music is an essential part of Christmas. Iconic songs such as, “All I Want For Christmas Is You” can be heard in storefronts around the world. Christmas is a time to celebrate creativity and inspire ideas. You don’t hear anyone making Thanksgiving songs, do you?

So, what does Thanksgiving have that Christmas doesn’t? Politics.Thanksgiving is tainted by election season every four years, which dampens the positive feeling of the holiday. Thanksgiving also has football rivalry. Every year the long awaited FSU vs UF game takes place, and this competition may be, dare I say it, more toxic than the politics. Christmas, on the other hand, is full of joy and unity.

If you’re a teen I’m sure you know that for Christmas you get about three weeks off school. How much do you get for thanksgiving? Only one week. I guess that means Christmas is about three times better than Thanksgiving.

Sorry Thanksgiving for decking your halls.

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